I should have known it was a setup the first time I saw Cubby, the jet black miniature poodle.
The people at the home for wayward dogs brought him out of a pen and sat him on a table before me, and then his handler looked at him and winked. The sly dog instantly tried to look forlorn, drooping his head and then looking up weakly and shyly, licking my hand on cue. I figured it was my imagination. After that, I asked about him.
“His he well behaved?”
“Oh sure, absolutely!”
“He doesn’t have a problem going outside. I mean he’s house trained right?”
“Oh sure, Cubby is very smart.” Then he looked at the little dog and winked again. I don’t think he had a nervous twitch; he only did it when talking about the dog. I naively accepted and they very quickly handed him over to me. When I asked about payment they said he was special and there was no charge!
That should have been a sure sign. Why was he the only free dog there? But I ignored this anomaly and signed papers stating something about their release of liability, and a no return policy for special dogs like Cubby. They smiled sweetly and assured me that this was standard. As my new friend and I pulled away from the building, I swore I heard cheering.
When I got the little bugger home, I provided him with all the essentials and then let him sit on the sofa next to me so we could watch T V together and bond. After an hour of bonding, just us guys, I noticed there was a big piss spot where he was sitting. I admonished him sternly, but he just yawned and looked at me. Then I considered that he may just be upset and was adjusting to his new surroundings.
However, after several days of continued accidents I considered that he wasn’t as house broken as they stated. I started taking him outside and then rewarding him with dog treats after. My positive reinforcement treat program did not work as planned, and after time he just jumped around looking for a treat after pissing on my carpet.
Besides our incontinence issues I also discovered Cubby was paranoid. I would give him a bone as a treat for no good reason. Yes, I spoiled him, you know. I basically rewarded him for bad behavior. I can’t imagine why that didn’t work out better for me! However, Cubby did not eat the undeserved bone. No, instead, he held it in his mouth and paced back and forth across the house looking for a safe hiding place. Click, click, click, his toe nails would sound on the wood floor as he walked past me. First left and then right and back again across the house again with the bone firmly held in his mouth. Then after an hour of pacing he finally hid it. But wait, he has retrieved it again and has now started his pacing all over again.
They told me he was smart so I assume he has ascertained that he is the only dog here. And that I have no interest in stealing his bone. So I’m guessing he has deeper issues then I can resolve.
In addition he enjoys games! Because he is black and impossible to see at night, he enjoys hide and seek. About one out of fifteen times I will let him out to ‘go’ in the side yard and after he will usually run right back for his treat. But that fifteenth time he does not return and I have to grab my flashlight and go search for him. The funny thing is, he is not innocently sniffing around lost as you may think, as if he may have just accidentally wandered off. No! I find him purposely hiding behind a bush just his little head jutting out to see if I am coming! I swear, I’m not making it up! He does this purposely so I’ll have to find him. I guess he gets bored just sitting around pissing in the house all day.
However his ultimate revenge is saved for when I leave him in someone else’s care. Then he turns into an Olympic skater. He will go into my bathroom with the white tile and poop. Then, because it’s fun, he’ll step in it and then slip and slide gliding across the bathroom floor until every possible inch of tile is covered with long brown skids. I’m sure after he surveys his handy work and laughs knowing I will have to clean it up, as his temporary caregiver have run off vowing never to return.
After all, who do I think I am? Leaving him alone with some stranger? He will teach me! Next time, I’ll think twice about going anywhere and leaving him behind!
So, this is how it is with my new friend. I’m hoping that a doggy counselor will read this and intervene giving him much needed therapy and counseling. As a post note, my alcohol consumption has gotten out of control and I’ve joined AAA for that. The funny thing is I never drank at all until receiving Cubby the poodle. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. Thank you in advance for your help.
Desperate, in Florida.
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