My girl was invited to a doggy birthday party, for dogs! You actually bring your dog for doggy dinner and festivities. I tried to imagine what type of festivities dogs might enjoy. Maybe, dogs line up for K9 limbo with Latin music playing? Or perhaps a best-looking bathing suit competition? I imagine this party as a large group of doggy-swooning women making insufferable doggy exclamations like, "Who's such a good boy?" and "Look who made a doo doo." etc. As soon as she told me about it, I tried to hide behind the sofa pillows, making myself as small as possible, but she saw me anyhow. Then I heard those dreaded words, "Honey, will you go with me . . . Please?"
"Me?" Couldn't I just stay at home and torture myself instead? I could beat myself with a belt, or fire up the grill and walk bare foot on the hot coals? Really . . . anything sounds better that a girly dog party!
Then she gave me that look! Ahh, not the look! It forces me to recall all those things I enjoy that I dragged her to, like my son's football games . . . rain, cold; we sat there for hours on end. She pretended not to be miserable, but I knew better. So I said, "Sure, I'll go." Besides, we were out of lighter fluid.
It was an experience. It took place in a co-worker's backyard. There were dogs dressed as ballerinas, including pink painted nails. There was also a movie star costume with sequined attire, and Super Dog attended wearing red, white and blue complete with a little cape. Still another dog came dressed as a police dog! I guess he was supposed to enforce the rules like no pooping in public, (he wasn't doing a very good job.) All the women were swooning as I predicted, but it was actually kind of cute. It was fun trying to match the woman with her dog among the two dozen dogs running about the yard. And it was entertaining to watch an aggressive dachshund with a black top hat and bow tie attack a pit bull three times its size. I ate snacks and watched the dogs eat their doggy whipped cream birthday cake shaped like a bone, and then sniff the other guys' butts, leaving doggy whip cream there. All in all it wasn't so bad, my girl was happy, and really isn't that what it's all about . . . compromise? Besides, wrestling is coming to town and I'll need company!
"Me?" Couldn't I just stay at home and torture myself instead? I could beat myself with a belt, or fire up the grill and walk bare foot on the hot coals? Really . . . anything sounds better that a girly dog party!
Then she gave me that look! Ahh, not the look! It forces me to recall all those things I enjoy that I dragged her to, like my son's football games . . . rain, cold; we sat there for hours on end. She pretended not to be miserable, but I knew better. So I said, "Sure, I'll go." Besides, we were out of lighter fluid.
It was an experience. It took place in a co-worker's backyard. There were dogs dressed as ballerinas, including pink painted nails. There was also a movie star costume with sequined attire, and Super Dog attended wearing red, white and blue complete with a little cape. Still another dog came dressed as a police dog! I guess he was supposed to enforce the rules like no pooping in public, (he wasn't doing a very good job.) All the women were swooning as I predicted, but it was actually kind of cute. It was fun trying to match the woman with her dog among the two dozen dogs running about the yard. And it was entertaining to watch an aggressive dachshund with a black top hat and bow tie attack a pit bull three times its size. I ate snacks and watched the dogs eat their doggy whipped cream birthday cake shaped like a bone, and then sniff the other guys' butts, leaving doggy whip cream there. All in all it wasn't so bad, my girl was happy, and really isn't that what it's all about . . . compromise? Besides, wrestling is coming to town and I'll need company!
